Się postanowiło odchudzić, się odchudziło. Się postanowiło ćwiczyć, się ćwiczyło. Się postanowiło biegać… i się zastanowiło.

Nazmieniało się w głowie mojej w ciągu ostatniego roku, naprzestawiało. Od babskiego spojrzenia w lustro i zwykłego „muszę schudnąć” przeszłam niepostrzeżenie do myślenia o tym, jak funkcjonuję i czy potrafię sprostać wyzwaniom, być konsekwentną i mieć z tego satysfakcję.

Bywało, że myślałam o sobie z dumą, bywało, że się krzywiłam z niesmakiem. Ale nagle uświadomiłam sobie, że już nie o odchudzanie chodzi. Że ono się przydarza niejako przy okazji, że bardziej chodzi o udowadnianie sobie, że potrafię wytrwać .

Że myślę, nie o tym jak schudnąć, ale PO CO to robię. Że wsłuchuję się w siebie i odnajduję tak przedziwne motywacje lub demotywacje swojego działania, że aż dziw…

A nigdy wcześniej tego nie odkryłabym, gdybym pewnego czerwcowego dnia przed rokiem nie powiedziała sobie „muszę schudnąć”. Teraz zaś zauważam, że myślenie o sobie może przynieść nieoczekiwane skutki uboczne.

Nagle odkrywam, że młody człowiek, którego pamiętam z rodzinnych zjazdów jako roześmianego berbecia pokonuje trasę Ultramaratonu „147Ultra” ze Szczecina do Kołobrzegu. Że bieganiem zajął się zaledwie trzy lata temu. Jakie ma motywacje? Milion pięćset, sto dziewięćset – jak mawiają moje dzieci. Zaczęło się od chęci schudnięcia (tadam!) a kończy na zbiórce „Przebiegnę WSZYSTKO – na rzecz Autyzmu”, którą organizuje w ramach akcji biegiemnapomoc.pl dla Fundacji SYNAPSIS.

Jeśli więc chęć schudnięcia potrafi tak pięknie się przeobrazić, to tym bardziej zamierzam wytrwać.

Trzymajcie kciuki!

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